I can’t. I can’t have us just go to wast, be for nothing. Not after all we’ve been through. I will lose my mind, if I haven’t already. I can’t lose the one thing that has helped get through my troubles, and helped with my Junior year. I don’t want to lose the one thing that has made me and kept me happy. I can’t not and will not because I refuse to let us, just be for nothing. I won’t forgive you, God, or myself.
When I look at this picture, I want to just be there. Walk around, play hide and seek(: I would Love to be there:P
We all know my ex- boyfriend. I thought I Loved him, and spent most of time being with, and crying over him. As I finally started to just move on I kept meeting guys. Guys who obviously weren’t right. I just wanted to fill the place in my heart that was ripped out. Then one day out of a random I decided to talk to you. I had read one of your poems( The Suicide Note), I was kind of concerned. Wanted to see if you were okay, and needed someone to talk to. You know, at midnight. We talked to about five in the morning. You had to get up in a hour for work, and I has summer school in two. The next night I messaged you on Facebook again. Late at night of course, and this time no one got sleep. You told me your story. Why you’re angry, and depressed. Nights continued like that, except for one. I was waiting for you to message me, and when you did. I smile, and laughed the whole time. Though unfortunetly this conversation only lasted maybe an hour. Then it hit me, I was actually upset about that. I didn’t get to talk to you long. I realized I liked you. Strangely enough I understood. You made me laugh, and smile. You understood my problem, and I got yours. Our late night conversations didn’t last long, till you finally asked for my number. Then we started talk from the moment you got of work till well you went to work. Or so it seemed, I am probably exaggerating. I actually told you I liked you, because well everyone else knew. You told me you liked me as well. I invited you over one time, you didn’t leave till one in the morning. That’s when you did it, you kissed me. Hahaha then you literally ran off, screaming ” That was from Brandon!” I was happy, and deeply confused. You explained to me the next day that you were nervous, and scared. You mean to say ” I am off to Brandon’d!” I laughed and said it was fine. Later that night I sent you a text, it was a forward message ” You have one chance to ask me any question, blah blah blah.” Lol you said I will ask you in the morning. I thought that was strange, and we both had zero hour so it made sense. I saw you in the morning, and you walked me to class, and the you brought that question. You said ” Will you be my girlfriend?” I of course said yes after waiting for so long. Almost 8 months later I have fallen in Love with you. Happy, oh so happy. You light up my world. You are amazing. I Love you so much(:
You gave me a reason to believe in Love again. I know now that this is what I have been waiting for my whole life.
I can actually say I an happy now. No more secrets, or sneaking around. No friends that just kind of forget about you once they find someone. Lol it is hard though to drop some of the people you feel like you have known your whole life. I will admit I have been a pretty shitty friend. Although never have I distanced myself once I found someone. It seems like these past two and a half months I had two friends just act like I an mute. Well one has been doing it forever and while the other it seems like I no longer matter because he is finally happy because she got the guy. Things change, but then again friends also don’t tend to last a while past high school. If we all did end up friends again then okay? I don’t know. Also I have softball which is where I take out most of my anger, and that is where my amazing boyfriend comes to see me. I don’t know what I would do with out his support. My grades have finally improved a whole lot. I might actually not have to go to summer school. Parents are well parents. I just no longer have so much drama going on in my life. That’s a first. Maybe things will go back to how they were but I’m not sure if I want then to(:
( it’s by Calvin Harris)
Those moments when you unknowingly give your heart to the one you love.
The feeling of butterflies in the very pit of your stomach when they ease into your mind.
The smile which graces upon the world, reaching your eyes when they are near.
The special glow you cast for all to see, which brightens with their gentle touch.
The warmth and protection you snuggle closer to in their arms.
The places you lay memories; as you share every moment together.
The all out joy you give one another to make sure you are pleased evenly.
The nights you laugh as random things, just to see a smile.
The three words you utter occasionally, making time stand still.
To never feeling alone because one heart beats for the other.
The dreams you share; to bid a future that harness true love.
You know what’s crazy I listen to all kinds of music. I listen to Pop, Rock, Alternative, Country, and really old Country, Rap, Spanish, Dupstep, etc. I am Native American..why am I listening to Spanish? No sense… I Love all the songs I listen to…
My Favorite…
Pop- Tonight is the Night- Outasight
Rock- Yellow -Coldplay
Alternative- Lions - The Features
Country- Honeybee- Blake Shelton
Old Country- 18 Wheels and a Dozen Roses- Kathy Mattae
Rap- No hands- Waka Flocka Flames
Spanish- Danza Kuduro- Don Omar
Dupstep- Anything Skrillex(:
Lol you know what is crazy, Haha I Love you!!(: Felt that you should know stranger(: You make my days, and I don’t even know. You notice things that most people don’t(:
You seriosuly bother me. I see your name everywhere. Hear your name everywhere. I shudder at the sound of your name. I flinch everytime someone walks by me and they look like you. I hope to God I never run into you one day. I pray that you never come back. I dream about you getting hit by a plane, and as unlikely as that seems I still hope. Fingers crossed that you never text me saying “I’m sorry”. I also hate a certain car because of you, that’s so stupid. The whole school knows you, and all of my friends talk about you. So do I because you were such a big freaking part of my life. I wish that I could erase my whole Sophmore year just because I know my life would be a whole lot better if I never met you. You ruined me…I was awesome. I could not break. I was like freaking magic. 12 months with you ruin it. Now I break at the stupidiest shit. I don’t know how some people stand you…I want to tie you to a tree and shoot arrows at you. I wish that when you find a girl she shatters your heart. I hope you are miserable for the rest of your idiotic life. You were nothing special. You remember when you told me that if we didn’t work out now that we will meet in the future and fall in Love again. Please for the Love God I hope we never see each otheragain because I have like so much anger towards you. For no reason, You only broke my heart, and my emotion shield. I just have so much rage, that constantly builds up if I ever think of you, hear your name. I hope I lose my memory, I could forget who I am but I would be happy if I didn’t know/ remember who the hell you were. And I hate the way people say your last name. Mata. Makes me think some child should be hit by a wrecking ball. Fingers crossed that that child is you. Who gets engaged when you’ve known the person for at least 3 months? A dipshit. I want to smack you in the face with …idk even know something that will hurt forever. I hate you with a firery burning passion you INCONSIDERATE JERK!
